


can't help yourself (or anyone else)

by thoughtsinplaces



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Implied Feelings, more angst and longing than fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 16:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15845220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtsinplaces/pseuds/thoughtsinplaces
Summary: “If you’re looking for someone to talk you down, tell you that you’re just upset and not thinking straight...” Bellamy trails off looking down at her. “I’m not that guy.”“Good.”-- or, that time in season one where Raven revenge fucked Bellamy.





	can't help yourself (or anyone else)

Raven is not the last thing Bellamy expected to see when he walked into his tent, but it's pretty close. He's out of bullets, patience and motivational speeches. The last thing he wants to do right now is talk someone off a ledge.

“What are you doing here?”

“They don’t waste time, I’ll give them that,” she says. She's clearly upset and Bellamy has no time for her bullshit. He knows exactly who she's talking about. He hasn't seen Clarke or Finn around camp all day, chances are the Princess has been whisked away. “What’s it been? A day and a half?”

This was really something he didn’t want to talk about. 

“You’ve mistaken me for someone who cares,” He says, taking his pack off and tossing it aside. “Time to move on.”

Raven nods, angered but resigned and unbuckles her belt.

“What are you doing?”

“Moving on,” she says shaking out of her pants. She stands before him, vulnerable and confesses, "I've never been with anyone but Finn."

She reaches for his belt with a challenging stare. “Take off your clothes.” Bellamy doesn't react.

"Fine, I'll go first." She huffs and sheds her top, leaving her bare before him. He knows it would be easy to just forget for a while, to just give in and let go--stop playing pretend. He isn’t a leader; he isn’t the hero. He is just this: the monster of the story.

“If you’re looking for someone to talk you down, tell you that you’re just upset and not thinking straight...” He trails off looking down at her. “I’m not that guy.”

“Good.”

He kisses her with force, teeth clashing and biting. This isn’t love or lust, it’s forgetting. He fucks her. It’s rough and solely for his pleasure, but it doesn’t matter because she’s not there anyway. He can tell by the way she clenches her eyes shut as she rocks beneath him and begs, “Faster.”

Like she can’t wait for it to be over, this turns his stomach, causing the coil of self-loathing and hatred in his abdomen to boil over. If he wants to finish he can’t think of her or what he's doing right now. He can’t be above the girl with her eyes shut tight, wishing he was someone else. So resigned, he closes his own eyes, thinks of blonde hair and gives into the monster.

It’s quiet when it’s over, no more heavy breaths or whispered pleas; just awkward silence as they roll off one another. She sits up and begins to put her layers back on and he just watches as the wind blow at the walls of his tent. She stands and shoves her boots back on, he can’t help but ask, “Did that help?”

She looks away from him. “No.”

Bellamy sits up, watching as she heads for the exit. His pride and bitterness boiling over.

“Why me?" he says, “You could have had anyone in the camp, especially Jasper.”

His words are meant to hurt her, share this shame bubbling inside him. Instead she gives him a sad smile, full of pity and sympathy.

“Because it’s Clarke,” she says simply.

She leaves Bellamy lost and alone in his bed. Haunted with a name, not fully understanding all that it means to him.

**Author's Note:**

> i was going through old tags on tumblr and founds this old ask prompt, wanted to post it because i always forget that raven and bellamy hooked up. anyways, hope it was fun!


End file.
